This Urgent Life: My story of love, loss and survival

Bozama St James tells her memoir of love, loss and survival with intensity and depth. Her storytelling, influenced by her ancestry, social context, faith and fight, is raw and authentic. From the beginning I loved her stubbornness to do as she wished, even as a young person absorbing the expectations of being the eldest sibling. She has walked a line between independence and familial obligations with grace and honesty.

This tale centers around the loss of Bozama’s husband to cancer, aged just 43. She spins the tale of her life around him, an anchor from which she reflects and then continually returns. Her writing is incredibly moving and sensory; capturing love and race and self-worth through descriptions of lasagne that will leave you watering at the mouth, through the sounds and smells of Manhattan and Harlem; the feel of Ghana.

I was always the impulsive one, lacking in patience. If I had a craving, I wanted to taste it. If I had an idea, I wanted to put it in motion, not tomorrow but right now… . But after Peter’s terminal diagnosis, I felt my impatience had to feed a purpose. I needed to slow down, to be thoughtful, because time was running out.

Her incredible career is also touched on throughout the book, a glimpse into her journey towards impressive positions as head of marketing in some of the biggest corporations in the world. I listened to this book on audible (read by the author), and could feel her strength. Imagining her owning a board room in five inch heels with her natural afro and refusal to apologise, is not difficult. She is a powerhouse; and this book could so easily have been about that. Instead, in the most courageous move of all, she created something out of her grief instead. It’s a beautiful, sad, inspiring book.

CW: Suicide, cancer, miscarriage