Quiet

This book gives you full permission (with heaps of scientific data, research and evidence to back it up) to be yourself. It’s cleverly written, with storytelling at the centre of each section. The science is kept to a minimum, but quietly reinforces each point in an easily understandable language. A former Wall Street lawyer and self-confirmed introvert, Susan Cain has written this book out of passionate dedication to the power of introverts (in a world that can’t stop talking). She takes us through the main topics in a natural development, from ‘the extrovert ideal’ and cultural mythology surrounding success and outgoing leaders, to nature/nurture arguments and parenting case studies, taking a look at Eastern versus Western perspectives and practical advice on working, loving and living as an introverted person. The book took seven years to write, and the is threaded by Cain’s journey of discovery through lectures, seminars, classes in confidence and speechmaking, spiritual retreats, case studies, secondary sources, interviews and data collation.

I have so many take-aways and follow up reading from this book. It’s a whole new learning curve for me and for anyone trying to learn a little more about themselves, I’d so highly recommend it. Cain also has a lovely website (quiet revolution) with further articles, lectures and discussions also well worth checking out. In Quiet, she pulls out evidence that I feel like should be in handbooks for all managers, office architects and CEOs everywhere - forgive me the long quote (but its just such an AHA moment):

Open plan offices have been found to reduce productivity and impair memory. They’re associated with high staff turnover. They make people sick, hostile, unmotivated, and insecure. Open-plan workers are more likely to suffer from high blood pressure and elevated stress levels and to get the flu; they argue more with their colleagues; they worry about coworkers eavesdropping on their phone calls and spying on their computer screens. They have fewer personal and confidential conversations with colleagues. They’re often subject to loud and uncontrollable noise, which raises heart rates; releases cortisol, the body’s fight-or-flight ‘stress’ hormone; and makes people socially distant, quick to anger, aggressive, and slow to help others.

She also pulls out the highly favourable characteristics that a lot of introverts carry as a burden, rather than a gift and provides a fresh perspective. She talks about high sensitivity levels from a biological point of view - introverts literally have a different level of chemicals in a certain part of their brain, which makes them react differently to extroverts (just like fun is controlled by dopamine, and depression is often a chemical imbalance).

The highly sensitive tend to be philosophical or spiritual in their orientation, rather than materialistic or hedonistic. They dislike small talk […] They feel exceptionally strong emotions - sometimes acute bouts of joy, but also sorrow, melancholy, and fear. Highly sensitive people also process information about their environments - both physical and emotional - unusually deeply. They tend to notice subtleties that others miss - another person’s shift in mood, say, or a lightbulb burning too brightly.

Her latter sections focus on creating meaningful connections as an introvert with extroverted people and vice versa. She uses case studies to describe different ways parents can best support introverted children through school and navigating social situations. It teaches adults how to reach compromise in relationships, and to understand different perspectives through the introvert/extrovert lense - ie. how a friday night dinner party may energise the extrovert and simultaneously suck the soul out of the introvert. Cain also explores methods of acting more gregarious than you feel, in which contexts this is a necessary approach, and how to maintain balance in the act. For anyone unsure of this book, I’d strongly advise finding it in a bookshop and reading the last chapter (strange advice I know, but it’s not like its the Harry Potter series). The final section (just three pages) acts as a blueprint for the whole book, with the overriding message:

Love is essential; gregariousness is optional.